The Quaran tells the tale of a man destined to become the true leader of the Muslims. A vessel of god, much like Mohammed before him. On the night of December 21th 2021, a large orb of light was seen descending over the Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem. At exactly midnight, a collumn of light emerged from the orb and pierced the rock with its energy, exploding the temple and scattering its remains over the corpses of puny mortals. The light dissipates and out of it emerges Jaweeda Brightbeard, the 7th incarnation of Allah. Mohammad was the first, 2-6 were stillborns. Jaweeda explains all of this to his new followers, the two people who survived his wreckless entrance.
Pilgrimage to Syria: Land of the Fire DemonsEdit
Jaweeda like Mohammad before him has been sent down to earth in order to lead god's army against the non-believers and bring the world back to its original state as the United Islamic Kingdoms of Allah. What was once a sprawling magical kingdom that spanned the entire world, it was reduced to trash by the Anarcho-Christians just before the coming of the most recent ice age, an event created out of desperation by the dying wizards in order to drag the Anarcho-Christians down to hell with them. The spell was cast in a magically infused region of the world known as Syria, home to the fire demons of Allahshazam. The wizard made a deal with the demons, to sap the world of its heat and return it to the core temporarily and to spare all Muslim survivors. In return the wizard had branded his people with the mark of Azorallaah, a curse that will see their people through several millions of years of terror. Mohammad and Jaweeda were sent to the earth to bring back the kingdom, but first they must defeat the Five Fire Lords of Allahshazam. Mo, Pit, Gurp, Blutt and Fizorp. The Five Fire Lords have been waiting for the second coming of Allah for thousands of years now, ever since their close encounter with Mohammad. Jaweeda prepares for his fight by calling a Fatwa on the Five Fire Lords and announcing it to the world, alongside with his message of a pure Muslim world free of free thought and only two genders. Within a day half the population of the world converted to Islam and flew over to Syria to aid against the battle for Syria. Jaweed rallies his people, and begins the summoning process. He removes his shirt and begins to draw Arabic runes all over his body. He then draws a large circle on the ground with the words "أدعو النار الشياطين" meaning "I call the Fire Demons" inside. He places his hands onto the circle and begins to power up his mana. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, EEEEEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jaweeda erupts with the force of 100,000 mana particulli and kills all but two of his new followers.
Fight with the Five Fire LordsEdit
After the summoning ritual was complete, the Five Fire Lords were summoned in a pentagram shape around the circle.
Mo: "AH, SO YOU'VE FINALLY DECIDED TO COME BACK TO LIFE AND TRY TO BREAK OUR CURSE HUH? PITY, YOU'LL DIE TRYING."
Fizorp: *distressed gargling*
Jaweeda: "I, Jaweeda Brightbeard hereby sentence you... TO DIE!!!!!!"
Jaweeda draws his sword DEMONIK BANE, a sword that forms from an ancient Arabian tattoo on his arm. He rushes towards Gurp who is playing jax with Blutt and cuts both of their heads off with one hand while he flips them off with the other.
MO: "YOU MAY HAVE DEFEATED GORP AND BLUTT, BUT LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THEY WERE NOT TRUE DEMONS! THEY ARE INFERIOR IN EVERYWAY, BUT WE MUST LET THEM BE A PART OF US FOR PUBLIC RELATIONS ISSUES. NOW PREPARE TO FACE PIT, THE MIGHTY MAGMA MAGE OF MADAGASCAR!"
Pit begins to run towards Jaweeda, but accidentally casts a spell of dismemberment on himself and dies.
Fizorp: *SEVERELY DISTRESSED GARGLING*
Jaweeda: "Looks like your dogs are nothing more than chumps, Mo! Give up now! Lift the curse and I shall let you stay in your HELL DIMENSION, alive!"
Mo: "YOU FOOL! YOU CANNOT BREAK THE SEAL! YOU WILL BRING A DOOM FAR GREATER THAN OUR CURSE UPON YOUR PEOPLE!
Jaweeda: "Look around you Mo, I killed all my people."
Mo jumps forward and takes a swing at Jaweeda with his giant mega axe called SWINESLAYER. SWINESLAYER is drenched in pigs blood, making Jaweeda extremely careful not to get hit by Mo's wild swings. Jaweeda succeeds in dodging his first set of swings and jumps into the air. There he begins to channel an intense amount of mana into DEMONIK BANE.
Jaweeda: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Jaweeda slices the air in front of him with his sword, cutting it open and releasing the air's mana into an electrical charge that detonates micronuclear atoms in the air to create a volatile explosion, and very nearly hits Mo. Mo dashes back and begins to channel his hell mana into SWINESLAYER.
Mo: "AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, AYEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, AYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
Mo creates a wave of intense hell mana heat that turns the air around it into plasma, launching air plasma through the non air plasma and straight towards Jaweeda. Jaweeda blocks the wave with DEMONIK BANE and absorbs it at the cost of 1750 mana. Jaweeda is empowered. +2 constitution.
Jaweeda decides this article is going on for too long and begins his final destruction spell: JIHAD WALAHI MAGICAA"
Jaweeda: "MO, THIS ENDS HERE!!!!!"
Fizorp: *INTENSE GARGLING THAT SOUNDS LIKE A MOTORCYCLE*
Jaweeda and the two remaining demons are engulfed by the spell, sucked into the pocket dimension where all muslims come from. Allah imprisons the two demons in his pet cage and feeds them health food like apples and raisin bran. The two witnesses left alive bore witness to the entire conflict, and wrote about it on their tumblr page. Collectively they got 7 notes.