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Mahmoud

mahmoud nice day

Mahmoud is known around the Arabian desert as THE guy to see if you want the latest upgrades and hookups. He has supplied several drug dealers with drugs all over the Middle of East and even has some ties over in the Americas. He is a very dangerous man and a fanatic member of the Islamic State of Iraq & the Levant, wanted criminal in 2 countries (Albania, Antarctica) and sometimes a rival of the Function Rambunction crew. He owned and operated a self titled blog before abandoning it completely.

The beheading of Salhaam SalabeemEdit

When Mahmoud was but a wee baby (23 years old) he took up after his father and became the Caliph of Spain. Rich beyond his wildest dreams and full of that wonderful youthful vigor, he began to indulge in his wildest fantasies. Opium, methamphetamines, "molly" and even the forbidden marijuana was brought to his palace and consumed by Mahmoud and his harem of wives. He began to build a large network of underworld drug connections and organized the largest black market trade of illegal drugs in the ISIS territories. Suddenly he realized he could save himself from a lot of trouble by just making all illegal drugs legal in the Islamic State of Spain, at least alleviating him of problems within his own turf. This angered nearby Caliphs, most notably Caliph Salhaam Salabeem of the Islamic State of Morroco & Libya & Algeria. Salhaam personally visited Mahmoud soon after with a retainer of royal guards. They ordered Caliph Mahmoud to step down from the role as Caliph and spare himself the death and destruction that would come if he dared defy the will of Salhaam Salabeem. Little did Salhaam know, Mahmoud has been working tirelessly to convince all other Caliphs to turn on Salhaam and share in the profits of his drug empire. Mahmoud seized his royal guards and put them all to the sword. Salhaam was taken in front of the entire city of Madrid al Wahaad and beheaded. In celebration, the entire city of Madrid al Wahaad overdosed on opium except for Mahmoud who is immune to drugs.

Encounter with Function RambunctionEdit

On a business trip to Honey Lake, AK Mahmoud ran into a group of young bloggers for hire known as Function Rambunction. Mahmoud immediately got along with EXtraDonut and Demetri Ford for being fellow ISIS supporters and for being PoC. However he had a strong disdain for the other members of FR, especially Triple-Q who he thought made the most shameful music he's ever heard. As Mahmoud was chatting it up about the fight to retake Britain from the French-Anarcho Christians who took over after the fall of the British Caliph with EXtraDonut & Demetri when Triple-Q started to very quietly silently whisper the Korean national anthem. "hey gangnam style, oh oh hey gangnam style. yes, oh hey gangnam style, yeah yeah, gangnam style". Mahmoud hears this and enters a fit of rage so epic even the producers of the movie 300 agree that this may be the coolest point in space time. His rage is so massive that allah himself was impressed. He took Triple-Q's arm and began to violently scribble Arabic runes all over Triple-Q's body. He then began to recite a passage from his holy quaran and turned Triple-Q into an official Muslim, ridding him of his Korean demons. The entire crew of Function Rambunction was impressed as they to despised Korea. They then went out for lunch and EXtraDonut martyrd about 10 times along the way.

Illegal invasion of FloridaEdit

Smiling african man

Jim Rider (1924-2019)

After his miracle at Honey Lake, Mahmoud felt like he was reborn again. This is now his 17th time being reborn. He reads a story about a new cathedral being built a top the ruins of Caliph Joe Rider's tomb, the former Caliph of Florida before the great anonymous uprising. Mahmoud declared a fatwa on the new leader of the Anarcho-Anonymous Commune of Florida, known as General George Gay. General G. Gay is a prominent militant anarcho-sexual with pseudo-left tendencies who brought the wonderful country of Florida into a golden age of trash. Hormones as far as the eye can see, which isn't far because gender vapors choke the atmosphere. The gender mist is strongest in Panana City the new capital city of Florida. They assumed Panama City was a PoC friendly city because Panama is not a white country and it is named after it. After the issued fatwa by Caliph Mahmoud, the city of Panama City barred its city gates and tripled their forces manning the wall. However, Mahmoud and the Function Rambunction crew entered the city several weeks before the fatwa was issued disguised as citizens. There they begun to meet with the secret muslims of Panama City, the desperate few who wish to see a new Caliph rise again and overtake the opressive Anonymous regime. However, part of the Function Rambunction crew started to have second thoughts on the operation. Most notably McBob, who had several scuffles with EXtraDonut and Mahmoud on the ethics of whether or not slaughtering genderless humans is considered murder. Heated, Mahmoud severed all ties with Function Rambunction including EXtraDonut. Even as EXtraDonut continued to yell "WHAT THE HELL DID I DO, OMG" Mahmoud just stormed out of their safehouse and left to finish his mission. He had gathered enough intel to locate seveal caches of volatile gender fluids stashed in the cellars of Anarcho-Anonymous loyalists. He slowly but surely murders all the guards guarding the caches and plants explosives on all of them, timed to explode at 9:11PM exactly. He sets up his final trap, a large bowl of vegan stew with the words "GENERAL G. GAY" scrawled on a piece of paper over top. Lifting this bowl will trigger a trap that will launch the general into the air and into a large vat of gender fluid with an explosive charge attached to it set for 9:11PM just like his caches. Just as he finishes setting up the table and readies to generously offer a vegan tribute to the general, the Function Rambunction crew barge in and attempt to seize him. A struggle ensues, and Mahmoud is caught by the local authorities. The Function Rambunction crew is rewarded with a large sum of simspons dvds and Mahmoud is sentenced to death by public BDSM ball torture. Witnesses of the event report seeing his ghost exit his body upon death and flipping the entire crowd off. Nice.

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